Dotty Ditties - Order Your Own Ditty

Order Your Own Dotty Ditty
Please give a minimum of ten days notice (Same day emergency service available for Best Man's speeches. Please telephone for further information) Please provide your name, address, e-mail, fax and all telephone numbers so I may contact you at anytime. (The name, telephone and e-mail fields are required)
Your name
Your Full Address
Your Email Address
Your Fax Number
Your Telephone Number
Other Telephone Number if applicable
Listed below are questions that I need to ask, in order for me to write the ditty. Some questions you may not want to answer, or there may be some that are not relevant to your particular case. That's fine - don't worry - just give whatever you can! (However, I know some people hate filling in forms - so if you want to phone me up and just chat through the information that's absolutely fine too! - see contact details.)
What is the name/s of the person/ people/team/department/ company that the ditty is to be written about?
What is their occupation?
What is the name of the company and what is their business?
Where do they live?
Where were they were brought up?
Age?
Hobbies?
Pet hates?
Secret ambitions/desires?
Whom do they lust after? (if anyone!)
What do they look like? (send a photo that typifies their character if you want)
Funny incidents in their life?
What are they best known/remembered for?
Any standing jokes about them?
What are the key embarassing moments in their life?
Do they have any odd or irritating habits?
What do other people's feelings/beliefs/reactions tend to be to/about them?

If it's a company/business type of gathering:
Describe all the people/departments involved in as much detail as is relevant - particularly the mavericks.
Who are the key people to be written about and why?
Are there any peculiarities about the industry that should be mentioned?
What is the company culture like?
What are the known and talked about strengths of the organisation?
What are the biggest problems/issues/gripes as far as the people are concerned?
What are the biggest problems/issues/gripes as far as the management are concerned?
What are the bad management practices that are rife in the company?
What sort of situations typically occur that cause grief and problems for everyone?
What is the company's over riding good point (if there is one at all?!!)

Once your order has been submitted you will be redirected back to the website